- Kids: “That’s really gross, dad! Ewww! Ewww! Ewww!” Wife: “I’ll get you some Advil.” Dog (I think…): “You need a whisky!” I love the dog.
- My burnt hand didn’t end up as bad as it looked. Won’t be sliding it down anyone’s pants in a while… Could have been worse. Lucky dumbass.
- Friends, I spilled hot oil on my right hand while cooking. Not great… (my middle finger doesn’t work). Off to the hospital – will be back!
- Most men are not particular about women’s feet… If you have some – great! If you can walk to the fridge and get beer – awesome!
