2011 – June 25 (Not getting laid)

  • My D-cup, nurse, friend: “YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOOOW, YOU STUPID, STUBBORN MAN!” Not getting laid, right? I’ll be back.
  • I’m having a nurse from the burn unit in the biggest hospital in Montreal to come here to look at my hand. Friends! With D-cups! Awesome!
  • Horrible sleep last night… I dreamt Lindsay Lohan drank all my beer, got in a manic rage, and tried to steal the anal beads out of my ass.
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