- It’s the small talk about the NBA or shower curtain patterns in between takes that guarantees that I would never be able to do gay porn.
- My daughter is afraid her feet stink too much in school… Tip! Marinated sprat fillets from IKEA in her shoes – cheaper than the pill.
- I hate stupid questions when in a hot tub with strangers: “How did you get past our dogs?”, “You live up the street?”, “Ewww! What is that?”
- My daughter has friends over on a day when I have ribs on the bbq. Again! One guy is just sitting here drooling and rocking back and forth.
