2011 – March 17 (Not star your tweet)

  • Heads-up! My guy in India will not star your tweet for me if a word contains more than four syllables. Thank you for your understanding.
  • Amazing fact: If you took all Irish foreskins from throughout history and laid them end-to-end, they would stretch like crazy!
  • I yelled, “Happy St. Patricks’s Day!” and moved closer to pinch the Walmart greeter and realized he smelled like gangrene. Close enough.
  • My wife is part Irish. I have 12 Guinness and hearty stew waiting, because I love listening to her drunken rambling all fuckin’ night.
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