- When you star one of my tweets, you go up on my real-life list of friends I hope to spoil with juggling, backrubs and scrumptious pancakes.
- I just unfollowed someone that spelled ‘conscientious’ correctly because I’m an asshole.
- Know what would really make my day? Yes! Finding a pair of comfortable heels! It’s hard finding comfortable heels to go rock climbing in.
- Yes, Chris Brown is a complete douche but he does wear really white shoes!
- I don’t star tweets with the word ‘gargle’ in them. I have been on Twitter for over a year now – I don’t do ‘gargle’, or ‘dance-off’.
- Demolished and put up new gyprock in the ceiling of our spare bedroom. First time! I also think my penis grew 2 inches. Wife will be happy!
- It was so dark here during Earth Hour that I came all over our baby rabbit. Yes, we call the sink downstairs ‘baby rabbit’, you weirdo!
