2011 – March 29 (Never find my wallet)

  • I can never find my wallet, car keys or favourite shoes, yet, she expects me to find her clitoris and g-spot… It doesn’t make any sense!
  • I just bought some Girl Guide cookies for $4.00. I gave her an extra $1.00 for ‘good luck’. Kidding! I had this feeling God was watching.
  • The easiest way to incite a riot is to go in to Walmart and yell, “HAS ANYONE SEEN MY IPAD2?! I THINK I LOST IT IN THE CAMPING AISLE!”
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