- Lesson learned! Never compliment a woman on her New Age ankle tattoos unless you are 100% sure they aren’t varicose veins.
- Bad news! I cut myself on the chainsaw and stubbed a toe! Oh, well, I guess my wife has to go to parent-teacher night by herself again…
- Scam warning! Tickets to see ‘the killer whale that tried to eat her trainer’ are really for Kirstie Alley on Dancing With The Stars.
- Here’s hoping that my dog reads Twitter…
- Dear friend, it’s just like getting married. Yes, you’ll feel dazed but you get used to it. Being neutered is c̶o̶o̶l̶ a dog’s life okay?
