- False alarm! The “porn videos” found in Osama bin Laden’s compound were merely videos of Keanu Reeves eating bananas.
- Saddens me when you rag on marriage! We are not in it for the sex! There’s also…. and… and also fresh banana bread on Sunday mornings!
- During sex, my safe words: Flicking the TV channel to DIY Network and yelling, “Holy shit! Look at those bathroom decorating ideas!”
- Seriously… Love my daughter and would never try to hurt or enter a room she’s currently in because her PMS is too scary and unpredictable.
- My daughter is thirteen and told her mom that she wants a nose piercing but is afraid that it will hurt too much… when I rip it out.
- Bikinis are almost here… and I have been working hard on buffing up my lazy eye since eggnog season – feeling good about summer 2011.
