2011 – May 26 (Figuring out the washing machine)

  • As I see it… The secret to Favstar is to tweet and then run upstairs to hold a puke bucket and then figuring out the washing machine.
  • I’m always too tired to do anything with my Kirstie Alley sex doll when I finally get it inflated.
  • I’m so straight that at our suburban house parties, I only dance to block people’s access to the cold meat platter.
  • Every single person at Walmart knows in which aisle you can find the duct tape and Velveeta cheese.
  • My son is home sick from school and I feel so bad for him that I actually turn down Enya’s ‘Orinoco Flow’ whenever he needs to throw up.
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