2011 – May 27 (Wiped my son’s butt with wet naps)

  • What is ‘Twitter Elite?’ I just wiped my son’s butt with wet naps – if I was part of it, I would know… and not need to do that, I’m sure.
  • Yes, sometimes I star your confusing tweets without checking Google on the off chance that you will join me in a threesome.
  • Whenever I click and turn one of your Favstar 49-star tweets in to 50s, I imagine you moaning, and then I touch myself inappropriately. Fun!
  • I have researched it… Inhumane? Perhaps… but I really think you could end all prison violence and rape by playing ‘Feliz Navidad’ 24/7.
  • Anxiously waiting for my wife to head out with the kids for the night so I can fire up the barbeque and the porn. That’s what’s happening…
  • When young, we didn’t have Fleshlights. We had to do it the old fashioned way, in the shed, with a kerosene lantern and Sears catalogues.
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