2011 – May 5 (Where are my damn wings?)

  • Neighbour stored their 2-month-old puppy on the back porch. Shivering. Whining. Went in and got her! Fuck it! God, where are my damn wings?
  • A little something you might not know about me – I have actually thrown up in an F-18 fighter jet. Also at all Hugh Grant movies.
  • Have a splendid day, sweethearts! No, account not hijacked – still drunk! Ass! Shit! Cum! See? Just here to catch up on your tweets…
  • When really stressed, I juggle fruit. Then I jerk off to pictures you post on Tumblr. Then I post about it on Twitter before falling asle…
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