2011 – May 7 (5 minutes in to the future)

Posted on May 7, 2011 by Beerhaze

  • Secret handshake? Bah! When spooning, if I place one hand on my wife’s boob and the other on her ass – I can see 5 minutes in to the future!
  • I’m convinced, I will cause The Rapture by not first breaking apart one of my 5-year-old’s monolithic turds before flushing. It’s scary!
  • Keeping the kids quiet so that wife can sleep in… Oh! They just finished gassing up her lawnmower. WAKEY-WAKEY!
Share
This entry was posted in Tweets. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>