2011 – October 13 (Having grown up with 70′s pornos)

  • Having grown up with 70’s pornos, it wasn’t until my late teens that I realized that nuns don’t like to have filth yelled at them in German.
  • To avoid scratches, I always cut my toenails before my wife and I hit the sack with her mint condition cardboard cut-out of George Clooney.
  • I’ve been married for so long now that I only get morning wood when I wake up drunk, naked and confused by a trailer park bonfire.
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