- Having grown up with 70’s pornos, it wasn’t until my late teens that I realized that nuns don’t like to have filth yelled at them in German.
- To avoid scratches, I always cut my toenails before my wife and I hit the sack with her mint condition cardboard cut-out of George Clooney.
- I’ve been married for so long now that I only get morning wood when I wake up drunk, naked and confused by a trailer park bonfire.
