- Hah ha! Beerhaze’s account has been sooooo hacked! I mean like shiny-bronze-gong-hacked! Screw you, you, you, you and jew. – Dalai Lama
- In my 20’s I got my ass kicked so bad, I didn’t know what planet I was on, and it was worth it! Stubbed my toe tonight – don’t get old…
- My wife’s birthday on Sunday: (1) Shower and shave? (2) Cut my toenails? (3) Make spicy crab cakes? (4) Pearl necklace? (5) All? Ladies?
- “OPEN THE DOOR, I NEED TO PISS! HURRY!” For God’s sake, dad, I’m on speaker with Jennifer! “…OPEN THE DOOR, I NEED TO TINKLE! HURRY!”
- Great news! I checked, and not only is it legal but you are ‘obliged’ to kick trick-or-treating 15-year-olds in the nuts at Halloween.
