2011 – October 21 (Shiny-bronze-gong-hacked)

  • Hah ha! Beerhaze’s account has been sooooo hacked! I mean like shiny-bronze-gong-hacked! Screw you, you, you, you and jew. – Dalai Lama
  • In my 20’s I got my ass kicked so bad, I didn’t know what planet I was on, and it was worth it! Stubbed my toe tonight – don’t get old…
  • My wife’s birthday on Sunday: (1) Shower and shave? (2) Cut my toenails? (3) Make spicy crab cakes? (4) Pearl necklace? (5) All? Ladies?
  • “OPEN THE DOOR, I NEED TO PISS! HURRY!” For God’s sake, dad, I’m on speaker with Jennifer! “…OPEN THE DOOR, I NEED TO TINKLE! HURRY!”
  • Great news! I checked, and not only is it legal but you are ‘obliged’ to kick trick-or-treating 15-year-olds in the nuts at Halloween.
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