2011 – October 6 (National Lampoon Twitter Awards)
- I’m sorry, killing wildlife with a crossbow does not impress me! If it has to be done, try doing it the Canadian way – with a baking sheet.
- Pokémon or Chokeamom with bratty kids. Same… same…
- National Lampoon Twitter Awards… I was nominated for “Most Offensive Male” but was DQ’d when I told them to eat crackers out of my ass.
- Yes, it’s that time of the month when the wife impatiently waits for my beer can chickens to be ready on the barbecue.
- I have looked at every dude avi on Twiiter and not one features white-rimmed sunglasses! Yes, friends, I believe the douches are evolving.
- “You have a damaged mind, did you know that?” – The best DM I have ever received. Look! That pigeon looks like John Travolta! Also, cabbage!
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