- Women of Twitter are weird. My wife hates cucumbers and rabbits. She’s never tried blumpkins but I guess it’s like lamb. So, no go!
- When younger and slow dancing: “Please, God. No hard-on!” Now: “Please, God. No Chris de Burgh or I’ll puke all over her back.”
- Going in to any hardware store, and you can never find anyone to assist you. On the other hand, go in there to shoplift – people everywhere!
