- I have now officially given my guitar to my daughter. However, keeping the custom case for when I need to out douche a douche at Starbucks.
- Missed paying for bananas at the grocery store. I haven’t felt guilt like this since accidentally walking out with 4 laptops from Costco.
- In the basement peering out the window. It’s beautiful – I haven’t seen a soul in over two hours! (Mail carriers don’t have souls, right?)
- The condom ‘broke’? What the hell did you do? I once threaded one over our 90-gallon aquarium without breaking it.
