2012 – March 1 (Women do have a G-Spot)

  • Women do have a G-Spot! You can feel it with a finger or with your dick if done right. Reach it with your tongue – she’ll make you pancakes!
  • In my dreams, I’m a stern principal in an all-girls school and all of you did something naughty. I swear to God – best dreams ever!
  • I’m about to give my 6-year-old a bath… Before kids I used to give my wife a bath… And before wife I used to shower daily.
  • My daughter’s yoga teacher is a 40-year-old woman with the body of a 19-year-old. Or a 19-year-old that moans like a 40-year-old. Hot!
  • Slow dancing and always having to look down on girls is how I developed my scalp and boobs-mashed-in-to-my-stomach fetish.
  • Looking for a playdate for my son. Anyone? He’s easygoing… He loves pentagrams, goat heads, human fat and only poops every 120 years.
  • One of my daughter’s friends ‘came out’ today. I cried. Her only non-imbecile friend… Now she’ll end up marrying a knob. I just know it.
  • Ladies, in my dreams tonight, your blonde, red, brown, gray, black, blue and green hair will smell like chamomile tea and chicken nuggets.
  • Thanks for the BD greetings! Yes, I got lucky – I huddled under a blanket in the garage and nobody asked me for anything! It was beautiful.
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