About tongue piercing and jewellery

  1. I believe the first tongue piercing was done to someone else first, as in: “Let’s nail John’s tongue to that log over there… *THUMP* Hey, wait a minute… That looks pretty cool!”
  2. A stud or ring in your tongue heightens the sensation of licking something (or being licked), which is a big plus. However, it does suck when you lick your Ferrari clean and remove some of the paint in the process.
  3. There is pain involved with having a pierced tongue, especially when you get all tangled up with your hairy girlfriend.
  4. It can also be frustrating and embarrassing having a piercing when you kiss grandma and get stuck in her dentures
  5. A well-known fact: the bigger the jewellery stuck in your tongue the cooler the individual. However, it starts going the other way when your jewellery gets to be the size of a golf ball, and you dribble down your chin when you talk to people.
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