Advice: Bad to date my cousin?


Dear Beerhaze,

I have a crush on my cousin! She is the same age as me (16) and is very beautiful, and has big boobs that I would like to make mine. I’m dying to kiss her and make out with her. She seems interested in me too.

From what I understand, it’s legal to marry your cousin in the UK, so it should be ok for us to date, right? My mom and dad are cousins too so I don’t think they would object to us being together.

Why would it be bad to date my cousin?

Dear Grease Zipper,

Well, it’s frowned upon because copulating with and marrying your relatives might result in balloon-head babies. As your mom and dad are cousins, you could potentially add to the inbreeding to the point where you produce a “George W”.

Have a cold shower to cool down your raging hormones, then go out and find yourself a sufficiently slutty girl who is not a relative.

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