Dear Beerhaze,
My brother who I haven’t seen for eight years called the other day telling me that he will be coming to stay with my family and I this Christmas. This makes me feel very uncomfortable, as he’s a serial arsonist.
Am I supposed to be a good Christian even though my brother frightens me?
Dear Skin Magic,
The Lord said, “Let he with the most gasoline soaked rags strike the first match!” Sorry, that was a bad joke, but I couldn’t help myself…
As Christian you should of course welcome him in to your home. He might be a sick and perverted homicidal maniac but he’s still your brother. At the same time, as a man with a brain, you should also take some real-life precautions because God is extremely busy at that time of year…
Why not throw him a big welcome home party with a huge cake with hundreds of candles, and watch the candles! If he starts drooling or tries to light napkins on fire instead of blowing them out – hit him over the head with a shovel and bury him in the backyard!
