Advice: Break up with him because he eats meat?

Dear Beerhaze,

My boyfriend will always choose a steak dinner or a pork chop over vegetables, tofu and fruit. I love him to death but I’m a vegetarian… I don’t feel comfortable with him eating meat when I’m around, red meat especially.

I used to love hamburgers and hot dogs, but they are not good for you, and I don’t strongly believe that humans should eat the spirits of animals!

Should I break up with him because he eats meat?

Dear Lips-A-Flapping,

Yes, please do break up with him as soon as possible! Spare him your ridiculous whining and irrational thinking… He is not eating “spirits” – he is eating the “flesh” of animals. Also, consider a pig turned into 1800 sausages… The odds are pretty good that the one sausage your boyfriend ate, didn’t contain your imaginary ”spirit” of the pig…

Yes, clogged arteries are a bad thing… So are pesticides… Drugs… Environmental pollution… Stress from whining girlfriends and wives…

Yes, all things being equal in terms of genetics and core health, he will probably die before you do (statistically).

Red meat is not the only reason why males kick the bucket before females… Males (such as your boyfriend) also have to take a lot more bull crap than the average female. 

Stop the whining, bitching and moaning – keep him around longer!

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