Advice: Can I tie weights to my penis?


Dear Beerhaze,

Can I tie weights to my penis?

Dear Pepperoni Stump, 

Sure you can! You can even tie your penis to a garbage truck, but why would you want to do that? Whether it’s a fetish for you or if you intend to do it in an attempt to make it bigger – too much weight on it will damage your little fella’… It’s the only one you have, so you have to take care of it!

Don’t do it for penis enlargement reasons – all you will end up with is a ragged malfunctioning little penis. The only way to make a penis larger is to have you girlfriend play with it or to have penis enlargement surgery.

Also, don’t try to perform your own surgery… Scalpels and penis cutting is best left for people in the medical profession.

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