Advice: Can you help my find a website that teaches me flight?

Dear Beerhaze,

Can you help my find a website that teaches me flight?

Hiring a teacher hero is too expensive in my country!

Dear Dented Mushroom,

Your question had to be rewritten and shortened, as it was barely legible. You want to learn “flight”?

I understand your question as:

(a) You are hoping to learn how to fly an airplane or helicopter…


(b) You are hoping to gain magical powers and do the Superman thing…

Either way, there are just some things for which you shouldn’t use the Web! Yes, “flight” in any shape of form is one of them, but there are others…

  1. Self-diagnosing medical conditions, especially the ones where you are leaking any kind of substance, or when you have a horrible rash after vacationing in Thailand with your golfing buddies.
  2. Finding a trustworthy lawyer, travel agent or exorcist.
  3. Webcam chatting and setting up dates with people like goatlover187, Fourtoesleft and Alabamabutcher1954.
  4. Downloading and running 17 kB executables that will supposedly install Adobe’s latest and greatest release of Photoshop, or all the filth and depravity on the Internet.
  5. Reading how-to articles about electrical installation, pension investments and humane disposal of diseased cattle on a website maintained by a 14-year-old and his little sister Ellen.
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