Advice: Cats have nine lives?

Dear Beerhaze,

Why do cats have nine lives?

Dear Mind Wedgie,

They don’t have nine lives, which is why you often see them flattened on the road instead of scheming to take over the world. The nine lives bit is merely a saying, or a superstition perhaps, because they have quick reflexes and an extraordinary ability to keep their balance and righting themselves when falling.

Cats only seem to have nine lives because they can survive high falls with no, or very minor injuries. However, a newborn kitten (with all nine lives still accounted for…) will end up flat as a pancake when tossed from the Empire State building.

Trust me on this… It’s elementary physics as was proven in the Von Shmiffer Experiment (the rain of kittens) at Empire State building, in 1932.

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