Advice: Could you write a FAQ for 3-year-olds?

Dear Beerhaze,

My girlfriend has a 3-year-old boy from her previous relationship. He’s a cutie and we get along quite well.

The problem is that I’m always struggling for things to talk about with him.

Could you write a FAQ for 3-year-olds? Looking around the site, I can see you have three kids yourself. It shouldn’t be too much work, would it?

Dear Nibble Stick,

The kid is three years old… You don’t need to discuss politics or astrophysics with him. Keep it simple! He is three and will talk to you and ask you all kinds of questions. Talk to him about things he wants to talk about.

As for a FAQ, it’s impossible to write a Frequently Asked Questions for things to talk about. However, compiling a list of the most frequent questions you will ask him is easy…

  1. Want a cookie?
  2. Where did you get that?
  3. Did you just poo in your pants?
  4. Did you take it from the garbage?
  5. Where’s the remote control?
  6. What are you eating?
  7. Do you want to watch Elmo?
  8. What did you just flush down the toilet?
  9. Can you help find uncle Bob’s wallet?
  10. Did you just say, sonofabiatch?
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