Advice: Get my girlfriend’s bowel movement out of my head?

Dear Beerhaze,

I have been dating my girlfriend for a couple of months. I always considered her hot.

The other night she was over at my place, she used the bathroom and forgot to flush… I happened to see her “job” in the toilet and it was huge! It was much bigger than anything I have ever done. I’m not sure how to describe it… looked like a baseball glove?

Obviously, I didn’t mention my accidental discovery. I simple said a short prayer and hit the flush lever. Since that night, I don’t look at my girlfriend the same way. She’s less hot…

How do I get my girlfriend’s bowel movement out of my head?

Dear Slippery Mud Cake,

Time… Give it time… You are just jealous!

At least she uses the toilet… A much more disturbing question would have been: “How do I get my girlfriend’s bowel movement off my chin?”

Females are mammals too and need to dispose of body waste just like males. The quicker you realize that she’s not a magical fairy being that spreads sparkly dust wherever she goes and sits – the more stable your relationship will be.

It’s not a big deal! Ok… perhaps it was big… but you really will get over it.

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