Advice: Get my new girlfriend to have sex?


Dear Beerhaze,

How do I get my new girlfriend to have sex? We have been dating for seven weeks and she is it yet to drop her knickers. I have been working her like crazy but do not see any signs of my girlfriend changing her mind. She is not a virgin!

My ex-girlfriend was easy, all I needed to do was ask. I consider asking her again!

Ideas?

Dear Wonder Balls,

Perhaps you are being too pushy and aggressive… It’s a new girlfriend, so I think you need to get back to basics, and see what works. Perhaps the reason for her holding back is something completely inconspicuous: She’s currently going through a Chlamydia and Gonorrhea treatment?

Cover the first page in the girlfriend manual if you can rule out antibiotic reasons:

  • Long-time guilt and pleading for sex.
  • Cringe worthy and cliched Hallmark card for sex.
  • Ridiculously cute stuffed animal holding a heart for sex.
  • Overpriced Belgium chocolate for sex.
  • Fresh-cut flowers (that would have been cheaper to replace with roofies) for sex.
  • Very sheer and deliciously slutty lingerie for sex.
  • Perfume that one of your memorable ex-girlfriends used to wear for sex.
  • Cocktails, dinner, wine, champagne and more cocktails for sex.
  • High-end jewellery or pathetically sentimental silver jewellery for sex.

All of the above for really nasty sex!

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