Advice: How do I get her to listen to me for a change?

Dear Beerhaze,

My friend, “Jazz”, is constantly worrying about her ex-boyfriend that she broke up with. She is always crying and moaning over him — she never stops talking about him! I feel like she never wants to hear about my problems.

How do I tell her, without hurting her feelings that I don’t always want to hear about her and the guy she broke up with? How do I get her to listen to me for a change?

Dear Epic Fur Pillow,

Why don’t you want to hurt her feelings? A moral slap in the face might just wake her up.

It sounds like she is annoying to the point where you will soon start wishing that she will have a souvlaki-chainsaw related accident.

You should tell “Jazz” that she’s being a pathetic, whining and selfish little bitch. That should get her attention… If you really are friends, she will get over it (eventually). If she doesn’t? Simply find yourself a real friend.

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