Advice: Is it normal to have sex with stuffed animals?

Dear Beerhaze,

My son who is 17 years old and has sex with an old stuffed animal. I find his behaviour rather disgusting as his Elmo is all crusty and missing an arm!

I’m not sure how to deal with this situation? Is it normal to have sex with stuffed animals?

Should I worry?

Dear Stain Hunter,

I wouldn’t call it “having sex”. It’s not like your son is in a romantic relationship with his childhood monster. Your son whacks off using an Elmo doll… That’s it – that’s all.

I can’t see why you would need to concern yourself, unless he also talks to his Elmo doll and gets relief by tearing limbs off the thing while plowing it. Many would say that Elmo is a whining bitch¬†that deserves everything your son is sending his way.

The fact that you know that his Elmo doll is crusty, clearly shows that you already know more than you should… For your own safety – don’t go near that thing!

Is it “normal”? No… Should you worry? No… One whacks as one whacks…

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