Advice: Make her choose between the dog and me?

Dear Beerhaze,

I have never liked my girlfriend’s Pit Bull, Dahmer. But lately my dislike has turned in to unadulterated fear. The dog is not right in the head… It now follows me everywhere around the house and watches my every move.

Whatever I do, it sits there and stares as me with his small red eyes, licking his chops. I seriously think he is waiting for an opportunity to attack me. My girlfriend keep reassuring me that Dahmer is only being affectionate, and loves me, but I’m not buying it!

The damn Pit Bull is always there… Even when we get “romantic” I can feel his eyes starring at me from the foot of the bed.

Should I make her choose between the dog and me?

Dear 4 Grain Lemming,

I can think of another option: protect yourself! You are correct! Her dog is simply waiting for the perfect moment to attack you! He’s waiting for the most opportune moment to deliver lethal damage with the first bite!

It’s clearly you or the dog… Why not take Dahmer for a walk and have a little accident? I see from you email that you from Alaska, so why cover him in honey and take him out in bear country? Pit Bulls are more animal than dog so it would simply be nature restoring its equilibrium with the help of a Grizzly Bear. No big deal.

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