Advice: Possible that this is morning sickness?

Dear Beerhaze,

I had unprotected sex yesterday afternoon, and this morning I threw up without first feeling sick. Is it possible that this is morning sickness?

I know the unprotected sex was stupid and I will not do it a second time.

Dear Volcanic Upchuck,

No, it’s not possible. You would not even be pregnant yet (from yesterday’s exchange of bodily fluids anyways), as it takes 2-3 days for the sperm to find the egg. Then it would take another 6 to 12 weeks for the egg to implant itself and start producing the hormone that later on causes morning sickness. Normally women start feeling sick when they are 7 to 9 weeks pregnant. If you were not pregnant yesterday, you will not be pregnant now (not yet at least…)

Your sickness was caused by regret and self-loathing. As for not doing it a second time, well, often it only takes one time… Speak to your friendly local pharmacist about a damned-that-was-really-stupid pill or a regular morning-after pill.

You might also want to sacrifice a goat to the Greek Gods Herpes and Syphilis to cover your bases.

This entry was posted in Advice. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>