Dear Beerhaze,
I had unprotected sex yesterday afternoon, and this morning I threw up without first feeling sick. Is it possible that this is morning sickness?
I know the unprotected sex was stupid and I will not do it a second time.
Dear Volcanic Upchuck,
No, it’s not possible. You would not even be pregnant yet (from yesterday’s exchange of bodily fluids anyways), as it takes 2-3 days for the sperm to find the egg. Then it would take another 6 to 12 weeks for the egg to implant itself and start producing the hormone that later on causes morning sickness. Normally women start feeling sick when they are 7 to 9 weeks pregnant. If you were not pregnant yesterday, you will not be pregnant now (not yet at least…)
Your sickness was caused by regret and self-loathing. As for not doing it a second time, well, often it only takes one time… Speak to your friendly local pharmacist about a damned-that-was-really-stupid pill or a regular morning-after pill.
You might also want to sacrifice a goat to the Greek Gods Herpes and Syphilis to cover your bases.
