Advice: Recommend good colors for Goth lipsticks?


Dear Beerhaze,

Can you recommend any good colors for Goth lipsticks? I’m tired of wearing the same old ash black all the time. Thank you in advance!

Dear Breast Kibble,

Yes, make-up is one of my thousand specialties. Here are some “in” colors made popular by New York Goth drones. These are the only lipstick colours you will ever need:

  1. Spooky But Not Too Spooky Black.
  2. Wildly Asexual Orange.
  3. Dead Rebel Green.
  4. Chock Menstruation Red.
  5. Grandma’s Thighs White.
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