Advice: Safe to drink Coors Light here?

Dear Beerhaze,

I’m visiting in Canada and I’m wondering if it is safe to drink Coors Light here?

Dear Foil Nibbler,

I’m sure it’s safer to drink than filtered camel urine even though it supposedly tastes and smells the same.

People will not try to hurt you if you drink Coors Light in Canada, but people will laugh at you, and talk behind your back, and question your sexuality. But yes, it’s safe: no one will physically harm you over a pop (no matter how weak and pathetic it is).

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