How do I tell my new girlfriend that her mustache is tickling me? It’s like kissing a dude.
Dear Goat Of Mystery,
I assume you wish to find away to tell her to deal with the facial hair without hurting her feelings? Sorry, there is nothing you can say…
Most guys simply put some hair removal products on their girlfriends when they have passed out from over-drinking, or when they have fallen asleep from exhaustion after their big, weekly, house cleaning.
Unless you wish to continue sucking mustache - sneak some chemicals on to her lip.