Advice: Wasting my time with my boyfriend?


Dear Beerhaze,

Okay, I’m 18, I live in Philly, and I think I’m falling in love with this guy (26) that lives in Texas. We have been talking for about 7 months now. We haven’t met yet but I think I really love him.

My friends and some of my family members don’t like him because he lies. They are not horrible lies – he sometimes promises things and doesn’t follow up on them. He knows how I feel about us. He used to call every day but now he only calls once in a while.

When we started talking, he used to call and wish my good night, every single evening!

It’s mostly me phoning and texting him and it’s getting old! Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I’m often asking him to come and see me, and he always says, “hopefully soon…” Why would he say that and never come?

Despite his flaws, I can’t help feeling that we should be together. Phone sex is not doing it for me anymore and I’m just pretending to make him happy. I need to see and be with him in person. He’s wonderful and respectful when we do talk, even though I don’t always respect myself.

Am I wasting my time with my boyfriend? Should I move on or try to see how it all plays out?

Dear Soda Shoes,

He is not your boyfriend… He is a random male, of uncertain age, in Texas, who you talk dirty to over the phone when he’s in the mood. That is not a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship… What you have is a confused soul/predator relationship. He’s simply using you for whatever simple and pathetic ”kicks”.

Heck, he’s getting (is) bored with you… You are probably way down on his phone list as he doesn’t call very often. Other confused souls are probably more rewarding to him at this point. You are old and boring news.

You have nothing to “move on” from, as you have nothing here. The only way this would be beneficial for you – charge him the industry rate for “phone sex”.

What you should really do? Change your phone number and find yourself a local (physical) boyfriend. Fairytale beings and voices on the phone (or in your head) make lousy “boyfriends”…

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