Dear Beerhaze,
What is the perfect woman? How do I find her and make her my wife?
Dear Club Finger,
Is there really such a thing as a perfect woman? The notion that “nobody is perfect” holds true, I believe. It comes down to personal preference, your options, and how desperate you are (and how desperately she wants to become a wife).
For me personally, I think the (possibly) perfect women would ask me questions like this:
- Are my boobs too big?
- Should I carry in another keg of beer from the garage?
- I’m tired of threesomes with my friend… Can we please also invite my sister?
- Do you mind if I cover myself in baby oil while I wait for the hockey game to be over?
- Can’t we just skip my mom’s funeral and have a steak dinner instead?
