Advice: Where can I find Apple iPad reviews?


Dear Beerhaze,

Where can I find Apple iPad reviews? Everyone was talking about it yesterday, like it’s the best thing ever in computing but I can’t find any reviews on Google yet! What the heck is going on? This sucks!

I need it! Designing a logo, literally on-screen, for a customer would be impressive. Have you found any iPad reviews yet?

Dear Septic Back-Wash,

You can get an Apple iPad review right here… First of all: it’s not a computer! You won’t be running Adobe Illustrator or Photoshop – or Halo (any version) on it. Sorry. Yes, there will be more senseless apps but on bigger screen! It’s more snow globes, Zippo lighters and ripped-off and re-massaged games (for the mommy & daddy generation). Enjoy.

Think of the iPad as Beta version 0.02 of the iPhone (in terms of size (and without voice implemented)). Yes, this sucker will also be much more difficult to carry around in your breast pocked or purse. On the upside: muggers will have a tougher time grabbing and running away with it.

You will be able to control your lame apps on screen by dragging, tapping and using motions. A bit more advanced than the iPod granted, but it’s the same old re-hashed thing, only on a bigger screen… You can also use gestures to interact with certain apps. It’s very similar to the Wii, except that it isn’t wireless (and can’t be done in a 3D space). On the iPad you still need to drag your greasy fingers across the screen. Probably not the best platform for hormonal teenagers or people who hang around coffee and donut shops, (despite the fingerprint-”resistant” oleophobic screen coating).

Yes, you can read a book on the gigantic (for 1972…) 9.7-inch (glary) screen, but I would avoid the bath, sauna, rain… and the bus in the seedy side of town! The battery life is ok (at up to 10 hours), and will take you through almost a full day of Twittering, blogging and dirty videos.

You can surf the Web on the iPad but you have to use the crippled Safari browser.

What’s missing: NO multi-tasking (you need to open-close-open-close apps…), NO cellular voice, NO CD or DVD slot, NO camera (no video conferencing), NO Flash support in Safari, NO HD video or  imagery on-screen, no support for PNG, no improvements to the OS (still uses the weak iPhone OS), NO expandable storage, no stereo speakers (seriously!), no interchangeable batteries (the battery is baked in like on all other Apple gadgets), NO choice of carrier at release (forced to use AT&T), NO HDMI output for your crippled 720p… movies, you need adapters for everything, even USB (seriously!), no widescreen 16×9 (Black bars on top and bottom in movie playback…)… just to mention a few limitations.

These toys are priced from US $499.00 to US $699 + around US $130 for 3G.

Conclusion for this Apple iPad review: The best thing about this toy is that the display uses (green) arsenic-free display glass, so it’s perfectly safe to keep your latte or donut on the iPad while you get your work done on a real computer.

Looks: 4 out of 5 beers.
Innovation: 2 out 5 beers.
Technology: 1 out of 5 beers.

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