Advice: Where can I find single pregnant women?

Dear Beerhaze,

I would like to meet women who are always pregnant. I have been having looksies around different gynaecologist’s offices around where I live (in Memphis) and the women all seem to be mostly married, I think.

Where can I find single pregnant women?

Dear Douche Elvis,

I don’t think you understand the biology of pregnancies… First of all, there is no “always” pregnant. Women are pregnant for 9 months – they deliver a baby – they need time to recuperate for months at a minimum.

Secondly, you mostly see women in different kinds of relationships having babies because it takes two to make a baby – a dude to supply the gravy and a woman to give up her bowl.

Sure, there are single mothers-to-be out there, but they will almost always have more important and immediate concerns that finding themselves a dude with a pregnancy fetish.

The closest thing you will ever be able to get to “always pregnant” women is to make it happen yourself (it’s a lot of work and it will cost a lot of money). Your only other option is to move to a small farming community in Ireland (a bit easier if you can stand the goofy accents).

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