Advice: Why is my wife talking nonsense again?

Dear Beerhaze,

My wife says she’s always walking on eggshells around me. What does she mean by this? I hate eggs and I would never eat them, and therefore never get any shells on the floor.

Why is my wife talking nonsense again?

Dear Cluster Hobbit,

They are magical and invisible eggshells! When they make the slightest noise, they set your retarded mind in motion, making you act your worst around your wife, which I guess is pretty bad…

You need to learn to relax a bit or you will soon have an ex-wife who has half your stuff.

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