Advice: Will I be raped when I go to prison?

Dear Beerhaze,

Will I be raped when I go to prison? I am a car thief… not a sex criminal or anything like that.

Advise me, please!

Dear Dented Miata,

I have no idea, dude… However, I would imagine that prison is quite an unpleasant place to be. When it comes to prison rape, I would think that you would try to do all you can to not look or smell like Paris Hilton’s vagina:

  1. Grow your goatee into a full beard…
  2. Floss…
  3. Use minty mouthwash…
  4. Get the flavour-of-the-day fascist tattoo…
  5. Bench-press things…
This entry was posted in Advice. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>