Alternative uses for tennis balls

  1. Make cups that are difficult to balance by cutting balls in half and give them to your enemies.
  2. Place a ball on the couch to sit on and pretend that someone is happy to see you.
  3. Fill a sock with a few balls and subject yourself to mild police brutality by hitting yourself on the back with it.
  4. Start a feeding frenzy by soaking one in bacon grease and tossing it in to a dog run.
  5. Shove two balls under your shirt and go shoplifting while pretending to be Winona Ryder.
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