Buying a used car

  1. If the trunk smells like death, it’s very likely that someone actually died in it.
  2. Always disinfect a sticky steering wheel, as leprosy is contagious.
  3. “Lady driver only” means that the drivetrain will disintegrate if you ever hit 70mph.
  4. Stains in the ceiling means that you won’t get any dates either driving that piece of crap.
  5. You will eventually end up getting stabbed in the back by a pimp, if hookers for no apparent reason pelt the car with their shoes when they see it.
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