Celebrity weight loss strategies

  1. Oprah Winfrey - Cut down on lip-gloss.
  2. Britney Spears - Divorce Kevin Federline.
  3. George W. Bush - Take a shit once in a while.
  4. Mary-Kate Olsen - Stop eating salad: watch people eat salad instead.
  5. David Blaine - Cut yourself in half.
  6. Tom Cruise - Jump up and down on a couch like a retard.
  7. Howie Mandel - Hold up “the one million dollar briefcase” filled with quarters, while wearing heels.
  8. Kate Moss - Bike to Colombia and buy your cocaine.
  9. Rosie O’Donnell - Lose the bullshit.
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