I had sex with my mate’s mum and now it hurts when I pee!
Could his mum have given me a sex disease? Is there something I can do about this?
Dear Hat Fish,
I recommend that you stay away from salty foods… and frisky mums. Your friend’s mothers are not supposed to pass on venereal diseases but prepare you hot cocoa on late winter afternoons!
You might have a bladder infection… or leprosy… I have no idea. Did you have sex with her 2 hours ago or 2 months ago? Did it only happen in your imagination or did your penis actually enter a part of her physiology?
Basically, whenever you are leaking anything from anywhere or things hurt beyond repair – see a goddamned healthcare professional instead of emailing random dudes on the web.