Help your husband lose weight

  1. Tobogganing is a fun winter activity that is great exercise at the same time… Push your husband in to a toboggan, and tie him to it. Pull him too, and up a big hill (he fighting to get out of the restraints will be a great warm-up for him!) Once you get him up there, aim him away from home and kick him down the hill - his weight should take him a great distance. His weight should also ensure that the toboggan will break when it hits a tree, rock or what have you – thus releasing his restraints… Without a shadow of a doubt he will be furious, which will ensure a brisk, calorie burning walk home for him.
  2. Skating is fantastic as it exercises your whole body. Lace you husband up when he is taking a nap! Tie him to a long rope, and wait for a large truck to come by your house and attach the other end of the rope to it… Do make sure that your husband can be dragged through the house, and on to the street unobstructed! It can be quite painful getting pulled through some French doors, over a hot stove, and through a bay window. He should have hours of calorie burning fun skating behind the truck before getting discovered.
  3. There is nothing more exciting and fast paced as luge! Unfortunately luge doesn’t burn all that many calories: unless you can make someone go up the track instead of sliding down it! Get your husband on a sleigh at the bottom of the course, and cover him from head to toe in bacon grease (tell him it’s a treat!) and then release some hungry Rottweilers… He will make it to the top of the course, and burn thousands, upon thousands of calories in the process!
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