Encouraging words we rarely express to certain people

  1. Police Officer - ”Thumbs-up donut face! You are doing a great job preparing yourself to fight crime by sitting on your fat arse and shoving chocolate covered grease into your pie hole.”
  2. Proctologist - ”Dude, you are freaking wicked… You hands are as soft as a baby’s and I totally loved the way you examined my prostate: it was done firmly, yet gently! Mau I buy you a drink?”
  3. Zookeeper - ”You are very thoughtful young lady! Thanks for trying to make our family’s day here at the zoo special and memorable, it was just bad luck that the Lion’s suppository popped out.”
  4. Hairdresser - ”Pleasure to meet you gramps! Your hands don’t shake nearly as bad as I first thought when I walked in! Your armpits are also more musty than intolerable – I’ll be back again for sure!”
  5. Meter Maid - ”Missus, you are quite beautiful for a middle-aged woman who wears gray polyester pants and frock. If you could write your tickets more legibly, I’m sure many men would ask for your phone number.”
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