Fascinating facts about King Kong had he been real

  1. Would have had the biggest brain in the world and been amazing at Soduko and at opening pre-perforated cardboard packaging.
  2. Fingernails would have been the size of toilet lids.
  3. Would have had to be gentle even when mating with a Blue Whale.
  4. Lunge capacity would have enabled him to suck like the Hover Dam or Kevin Federline.
  5. Beach balls.
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