Future news reported by clueless CNN anchors

  1. “After 18 hours of surgery we are happy to report that they were able to save the cuter one of the conjoined twins.”
  2. “The animal shelter luckily burned to the ground 3 hours after all the cats and dogs had been put to death due to horrible skin infections.”
  3. “Our CNN expert scientists are now positive that the bird flu virus only affects Blackjack dealers, Norwegians and dumb people.”
  4. “The LAPD is very happy to report to CNN that Los Angeles Lakers’ Kobe Bryant hasn’t been brought in on rape charges for over two weeks!”
  5. “Ba-Da-Bing! The Screen Actors Guild has unanimously voted to force Bruce Willis to shave his eyebrows off to limit transgender sexual confusion in movie theatres!”
This entry was posted in Lists. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>