How to tell if your dog is intelligent

  1. If a kid falls down an abandoned well – your dog will pretend it didn’t push it down there.
  2. If your brother in-law takes off his shoes – your dog will not attempt to clean his feet.
  3. If a machete wielding burglar comes in to your house – your dog will hide until it’s safe.
  4. If a new girlfriend is around – your dog tries hard not to slurp when licking his balls.
  5. If another dog brings it a cookie – your dog will eat the cookie and not the other dog’s butt.
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